Suicidal Bridal, the perfect storm
By LyTer Green
For months Jade thought about death constantly. As she approached the end she wondered if everything she’d heard about dying was true. She thought of moments in her life, approaching a white light, everything going dark and no more purpose. It was too late now, she couldn’t back down. She pulled the trigger.
She entered the brilliant spotlight into an all white place with gold and silver and angels carrying baskets of flowers throwing them as she entered the room. So this is “heaven” she thought. It didn’t live up to the hype. Jade thought of her last days and all she had prepared to make it to this place. Maybe all she’d heard was false. Besides, what did her three friends know about this unfamiliar territory?
Two months before Jade pulled the trigger she was bombarded by an unwavering question. Jade was an entrepreneur with a publishing house, ad agency, and clothing line under her corporate logo “LG”. If Jade wanted something she extended her arm and took it, simple as that. She saw the world as her blank canvas and she painted with splurges of passion taking breaks when she desired. When Jade didn’t know an answer she took it from someone who did. This feeling of uncertainty was new to Jade.
“It’s suicide Jade,” Carmen ranted. She continued.
“Suicide. Why would you do this to yourself? I can see the headline now, ‘Successful entrepreneur throws career and life away. She is survived by three friends Carmen, Jasmine, and Desirea.’ Think about it.”
“Jade, you have everything to live for, you’re so young, I agree with Carmen on this one,” Jasmine always sided with Carmen.
Atleast Jade could count on Desirea to keep her grounded or pull her out.
“I think you should do it,” Desirea said.
“Desirea!”
“I can’t believe you, I mean it’s you, you think she should do it are you insane?”
Carmen and Jasmine objected to Desirea’s advice.
Jade had a decision to make and with Desirea’s approval she made the decision but she wouldn’t tell her friends.
“Just because you’ve had a streak of bad luck in business doesn’t mean you need to hang yourself. I can’t believe you Jade,” Carmen left and Jasmine followed.
“Between you and I, I think it has to be done. I know it seems unlikely that I would approve of such a thing but if it makes you happy do it. Happiness by all means necessary,” Desirea sealed the last sentence with a wide smile at Jade and left.
Jade had an immeasurable amount of work to complete before the day. There was the ceremonial procedure, wardrobe; even the dead should look nice, and rounding up her family to celebrate the wonderful life of their 29 year old businesswoman. What would they think of when they saw her in the church, lifeless? Her family saw Jade as an energetic go-getter, now they would see a side of Jade she tried to protect them from. Jade pushed on trying not to think of her family and the surprise she would give them.
Her friends rarely consumed her thoughts in her final months. She had to dispel them in order to protect them as well. Jade decided not to tell her friends instead she would surprise them too. They would probably talk and cry on their way to the church. So much to do in so little time, dying was no easy task; it required as much work as she put in to building her business.
The day had come and Jade was nervous. Outside the sun shone, kids played in their dresses and tuxedos, adults whispered gossip, and three men waited to pass Jade to the other side. The church was filled with tears and emotions of all sorts. She entered the brilliant spotlight into an all white place with gold and silver and angels carrying baskets of flowers throwing them as she entered the room. So this is “heaven” she thought. It didn’t live up to the hype. Jade thought of her last days and all she had prepared to make it to this place. Maybe all she’d heard was false. Her father walked her down the aisle, to her groom; her groom said his vows and the pastor sealed the deal. Another closed deal.
Months before, Jade’s business was almost failing. As a resourceful woman Jade reached out and grabbed the answer to her problem, Jonathan. She married Jonathan, a successful investor and businessman and divorced him a month later after he had emptied his pockets into her business accounts. Marriage was suicide to her single, successful friends. She surrounded herself with women as business driven as herself. To be a successful, single career woman and get married was death. Only Desirea had understood Jade’s motives.
Martini glasses clinked as they toasted to the perfect wedding. “For the love of money,” they toasted, with smiles as sinister as weddings.
By LyTer Green
For months Jade thought about death constantly. As she approached the end she wondered if everything she’d heard about dying was true. She thought of moments in her life, approaching a white light, everything going dark and no more purpose. It was too late now, she couldn’t back down. She pulled the trigger.
She entered the brilliant spotlight into an all white place with gold and silver and angels carrying baskets of flowers throwing them as she entered the room. So this is “heaven” she thought. It didn’t live up to the hype. Jade thought of her last days and all she had prepared to make it to this place. Maybe all she’d heard was false. Besides, what did her three friends know about this unfamiliar territory?
Two months before Jade pulled the trigger she was bombarded by an unwavering question. Jade was an entrepreneur with a publishing house, ad agency, and clothing line under her corporate logo “LG”. If Jade wanted something she extended her arm and took it, simple as that. She saw the world as her blank canvas and she painted with splurges of passion taking breaks when she desired. When Jade didn’t know an answer she took it from someone who did. This feeling of uncertainty was new to Jade.
“It’s suicide Jade,” Carmen ranted. She continued.
“Suicide. Why would you do this to yourself? I can see the headline now, ‘Successful entrepreneur throws career and life away. She is survived by three friends Carmen, Jasmine, and Desirea.’ Think about it.”
“Jade, you have everything to live for, you’re so young, I agree with Carmen on this one,” Jasmine always sided with Carmen.
Atleast Jade could count on Desirea to keep her grounded or pull her out.
“I think you should do it,” Desirea said.
“Desirea!”
“I can’t believe you, I mean it’s you, you think she should do it are you insane?”
Carmen and Jasmine objected to Desirea’s advice.
Jade had a decision to make and with Desirea’s approval she made the decision but she wouldn’t tell her friends.
“Just because you’ve had a streak of bad luck in business doesn’t mean you need to hang yourself. I can’t believe you Jade,” Carmen left and Jasmine followed.
“Between you and I, I think it has to be done. I know it seems unlikely that I would approve of such a thing but if it makes you happy do it. Happiness by all means necessary,” Desirea sealed the last sentence with a wide smile at Jade and left.
Jade had an immeasurable amount of work to complete before the day. There was the ceremonial procedure, wardrobe; even the dead should look nice, and rounding up her family to celebrate the wonderful life of their 29 year old businesswoman. What would they think of when they saw her in the church, lifeless? Her family saw Jade as an energetic go-getter, now they would see a side of Jade she tried to protect them from. Jade pushed on trying not to think of her family and the surprise she would give them.
Her friends rarely consumed her thoughts in her final months. She had to dispel them in order to protect them as well. Jade decided not to tell her friends instead she would surprise them too. They would probably talk and cry on their way to the church. So much to do in so little time, dying was no easy task; it required as much work as she put in to building her business.
The day had come and Jade was nervous. Outside the sun shone, kids played in their dresses and tuxedos, adults whispered gossip, and three men waited to pass Jade to the other side. The church was filled with tears and emotions of all sorts. She entered the brilliant spotlight into an all white place with gold and silver and angels carrying baskets of flowers throwing them as she entered the room. So this is “heaven” she thought. It didn’t live up to the hype. Jade thought of her last days and all she had prepared to make it to this place. Maybe all she’d heard was false. Her father walked her down the aisle, to her groom; her groom said his vows and the pastor sealed the deal. Another closed deal.
Months before, Jade’s business was almost failing. As a resourceful woman Jade reached out and grabbed the answer to her problem, Jonathan. She married Jonathan, a successful investor and businessman and divorced him a month later after he had emptied his pockets into her business accounts. Marriage was suicide to her single, successful friends. She surrounded herself with women as business driven as herself. To be a successful, single career woman and get married was death. Only Desirea had understood Jade’s motives.
Martini glasses clinked as they toasted to the perfect wedding. “For the love of money,” they toasted, with smiles as sinister as weddings.
Lyter! this was fabulous, completely unexpected. I was beginning to find this piece rather insensitive since Jade and Desirea had seemed so content with the thought of suicide. However, the ending was a nice surprise and changed my views completely. Good job!
ReplyDelete-kay
This story had a great twist in it, and put weddings in a context that was completely unexpected and unusual. The vision of white and gold and angels was a great way to show the parallel between death/heaven and marriage that you were trying to convey.
ReplyDeleteIn the second paragraph, I would start out by just saying Two months earlier instead of repeating the phrase "pulled the trigger." This is a great phrase, but I think readers will make the connection to what event you are referring to without the reference.
Lyter,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the story and the twist at the end... Very clever.
I was thinking that you could expand the last paragraph and make it more story-like... If that makes sense. You could add another diaglogue set below the middle section that is about her meeting Jonathan. As she's meeting him/spending time with him you could spell out her alterior motives through her thoughts and actions. And how was she so smooth that she got him to marry her and invest so much in her business when her ultimate plan was to divorce him?
Also, a little more back story on Jade might be helpful. Why is she so driven and independent? Why does she feel quite so strongly against marriage?
Those are just a few things to play around with. I think you have a really great start!
Didn't see that one coming. You Shyamalaned it. Nice.
ReplyDeleteI kind of thought something was up when she was telling her friends her plan. At that point we assume she just told her friends she's thinking of killing herself, and their reactions aren't that strong. Even the ones oppose it don't really try to stop her. You think they're either really bad friends or they don't realize what she's about to do.
Of course we learn later that she's actually getting married but still it would be interesting to make their reactions a little more oppositional to the idea.
Your story was pretty awesome, completely unexpected and clever. I would have liked to know more about Jade and her friends-more about the way they thought about life, how they made it where they were.... more backstory in other words. Also, I was curious about what the "unwavering question" was especially since you said that it bombarded her all of a sudden. A suggestion that you could do is kind of tell what kind of financial disaster happened to her, maybe give more details of the devestation to her company and to her moral. Doing this would add more detail, and might reinforce why she would be in a state of mind to commit "suicide."
ReplyDeleteAlso, though I get that you wanted to keep the secrecy of her planned suicide going throughout the story, I wondered how realistic it could be that none of her closest friends know what she is planning until the final moment, especially since the scene you described looked to have involved a whole lot of planning. Will they find out after she gets married or will they actually be at the wedding? It migh be interesting to play with a sucide note, so that everyone does find out after she has already done it.
Those are just small critiques and ideas I have, but I really believe you did a great job with this story.
Hey Emy,
ReplyDeleteJade comitted suidcide by marrying Jonathan. I am referring to marriage as suicide. Her friends know that she is getting married and they disapprove. However, they do not know why she is getting married. Jade gets married to help out her business finances and only Desirea understands her motive. She does not literally commit suicide, she gets married. The unwavering question is the proposal, "Will you marry me?" And of course she does, for the love of money :) Hope that helps. I agree about more backstory on Jade.
Interesting use of marriage in the story, I liked how she's a gold digger and that money doesnt bring happiness in the end.
ReplyDeleteI like how you disguised marriage as suicide. It makes the reader think one thing the entire time and then is shocked in the end- especially when her friend agrees. I also like how she gets what she deserves in the end. Maybe give a little more background of the characters, but Very cool concept!
ReplyDelete